Are super-fast grocery delivery apps bad for society? They certainly lead to a lot of arguments | Zoe williams

I I like to think of myself as a generous person with narrow pockets, rather than a narrow person with a blind spot in pubs. One of those pockets is for grocery delivery services. You know: you need a green chili, a gust of wind is blowing outside, so you ask a poor kid on a bicycle to go to the supermarket for you and by a miracle of modern capitalism your chili is just 30 pence more expensive than it would be. be normally, as long as you also order ice cream.

It’s not the money that bothers me, just the underlying Marxist truism – that if some of us refuse to do any of our own menial tasks, others will end up doing all the tasks. subordinates for everyone. Also, we live next door to a supermarket and I’m not even exaggerating except for a small amount.

Mr. Z, meanwhile, enjoys a grocery store service. To give him his right of reply, he would argue that I outsource more menial tasks than him, to which I would reply… no, wait, I can’t give myself the right to respond to his imaginary answer.

Anyway, we have this argument at least twice a day so it was only a matter of time before we got it in a cab and I would like to bring the driver there. “My husband,” I intoned seriously, “really likes gorillas, but I disagree. “

“Do you disapprove of gorillas?” He asked, bewildered.

I paused to clear up the ambiguity, as they say on Wikipedia.

“It’s like that penguin in Japan,” observed the driver, once we got to the bottom of our beef. “He goes to the fishmonger every day and they give him a fish. He has a backpack. We parted ways to find the penguin on the Internet. The moment we saw Lala, a 10 year old king penguin, shopping alone, we had arrived at our destination.

There was a question mark the driver agreed to. In my opinion, me: if a penguin can go to the store on their own, a human can buy their own stupid green chili. According to Mr. Z, he. Or rather, how can you discuss a thing like this when there is a miracle penguin?

Genius diplomacy by the driver, in other words: five stars.

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